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Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The worst day ever (first draft)

W.A.L.T recall  events through the eyes of an animal.

Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when my recount has a
  • Title
  • Orientation:  When? Who? Where? Why?
  • Sequence of events:  What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
  • Personal Comment:  How did the events make you feel?

                     
THE WORST DAY EVER


It is a sunny day me my  mum and dad  was  going  for a walk around the national animal park in south africa. It was December we came to a  we riverbank . Me and my family are walking along the river bank.  Then I see a pride of lions resting in the sun.  They are getting to choose to get me or the baby buffalo.  Then BOOM!  The lions are chasing me, the lions are going to get the baby buffalo. The lions are getting closer and closer to me.  I ran into the water a crocodile came out of the water.  The crocodile grabbed my tail it really hurt I know they would come after me because I am the wackiest and slowest.  Then the lions and the crocodile were having a fight to see if the lions will have me for lunch or the crocodile.

2 comments:

  1. This is spectacular! I really love the onomatopoeia you used! Maybe next time you could check you're work to see if you have made any mistakes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I loved how you used all of the punctuation and how you included onomatopoeia. The part you might need to change is that you are the calf right and you said. They are getting to choose to get me or the baby buffalo. and this. The crocodile grabbed my tail it really hurt I know they would come after me because I am the wackiest and slowest.

    ReplyDelete

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